Let's start off by correcting a couple stretched truths. I admit, I haven't been completely honest with you so far knowing who might be reading these entries. People I know. "Her".
In my first post, I said we're married. That's not true. Almost all of our friends believe we are. We wear rings. She has a nice diamond ring on her finger. It was a present. We've never married. She's my girlfriend. We've gotten into the habit of referring to each other as husband and wife, although we aren't.
I made another comment saying that we have a great relationship. We have great aspects to our relationship but our relationship isn't great. To me, a great relationship is one that allows both people to grow positively. To become better people in one way or another. Great relationships might not last forever, but they let people take the good they've been given by the other and continue on their journey.
We've all heard the saying "Behind every great man is a great woman.". There she is, with her open hand on his back, guiding him forward with her support - not gripping at his collar.
Recently, all I've been getting from her is a sense of depression, general disinterest in everything (except doing nothing) and a complete lack of motivation to do anything positive or productive. For someone who always wants to be on the go and accomplishing something, no matter how small, this is extremely hard to be around. When I came up with this "challenge" and she showed interest in it, that was a sign of hope for me. Perhaps that interest could transfer into other aspects of her life. If I could re-spark her interest in sex maybe she'd get her "steam" back and start showing an interest in LIFE again. Well, as I mentioned before, her interest in this fell off rapidly....as tends to happen with everything.
Our sex life is dead. I feel creativity, experimentation and an open mind are key to a good sexual relationship. Monotony is a deadly creature. It's a slow killer. For a long time now, if I give any inclination that I'd like something other than our normal position, I'm met with "the look" or hesitation. This can be something as simple as a blowjob. It might still happen, but it's not enjoyed anymore because I know it's happening out of a sense of obligation, not because she wants to.
Last night, I decided we need a pause. There will always be an excuse not to do something on any given night. If all she does is look for excuses why not to, then it should end. If all she finds is reasons why she doesn't want to try something new or revisit something old, rather than being excited about new experiences, then it should end. If it were only sex, this would be something we could work on, but it's now her nature - and it's extremely difficult to be around. It's demotivating ME. It's contagious.
Challenge result = failure.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Day 10 - The Photoshoot
I just now discovered that we aren't the first to issue a 30 Day Sex Challenge. I just googled it. Apparently a CHURCH issued a similar challenge. A church! Good for them. To those crazy nympho-christians....go team!
Readers here can check it out at http://www.relevantchurch.com/30dayblog.html - I'm happy to spread the word about a church stepping into this new age and happily accepting that a healthy sexual relationship is a key component to a long lasting relationship.
There's 1 particular item on our list that we've kept trying to accomplished. We keep failing. I don't want to give it away but we WILL cross this item off!!!!
Either way, we sat down and reviewed our list and picked a new item...."Photoshoot". Again, in an attempt to help Her recognize and help display the sexuality she doesn't realize she has, seeing that first hand can go a long way.
We took everything from cute bra-and-panties pictures to rather vulgar during-sex pictures. I expected it to be much more fun than it was but again, she seemed highly uninterested. As the challenge progresses, She seems to view it more and more as a chore. This was the main problem and the reason why we started coming up with ideas to help our sex life - leading to this self-issued challenge....a complete lack of sex-drive and interest. The new and fresh concept worked for the first week. That freshness seems to have already died off for her.
And there lies my main problem. I don't have an interest having sex with someone who displays this kind of passiveness towards it. There's no "want". There's no desire. If after only 2 years it's like this, I'm left to wonder after 10 how much worse it will be?
At the days end, at least I can say I tried. Most couples probably wouldn't put in the effort. If you're here reading and experiencing similar problems, at least you're looking for a solution. Others might not do the same and continue to deteriorate and miss out on what might be an otherwise fulfilling relationship.
Wish me luck. I'm not giving up yet.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Readers here can check it out at http://www.relevantchurch.com/30dayblog.html - I'm happy to spread the word about a church stepping into this new age and happily accepting that a healthy sexual relationship is a key component to a long lasting relationship.
There's 1 particular item on our list that we've kept trying to accomplished. We keep failing. I don't want to give it away but we WILL cross this item off!!!!
Either way, we sat down and reviewed our list and picked a new item...."Photoshoot". Again, in an attempt to help Her recognize and help display the sexuality she doesn't realize she has, seeing that first hand can go a long way.
We took everything from cute bra-and-panties pictures to rather vulgar during-sex pictures. I expected it to be much more fun than it was but again, she seemed highly uninterested. As the challenge progresses, She seems to view it more and more as a chore. This was the main problem and the reason why we started coming up with ideas to help our sex life - leading to this self-issued challenge....a complete lack of sex-drive and interest. The new and fresh concept worked for the first week. That freshness seems to have already died off for her.
And there lies my main problem. I don't have an interest having sex with someone who displays this kind of passiveness towards it. There's no "want". There's no desire. If after only 2 years it's like this, I'm left to wonder after 10 how much worse it will be?
At the days end, at least I can say I tried. Most couples probably wouldn't put in the effort. If you're here reading and experiencing similar problems, at least you're looking for a solution. Others might not do the same and continue to deteriorate and miss out on what might be an otherwise fulfilling relationship.
Wish me luck. I'm not giving up yet.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Day 9 - Intimacy
Our plans for last night fell through. We were both just too busy. At least it gave us an opportunity to engage in another aspect of sexuality rarely emphasized. A part that is usually essential to the female of the relationship and is sometimes viewed as a chore to the men.
Cuddling. I know, boring right? Surprisingly, this was my recommendation for the night. No sex, just being together, holding each other, falling asleep in each others arms.
We'd been fighting earlier. Everyone does. She annoys me from time to time. I annoy her far more often ;). Nothing serious, just a little "God, you're an ass." here and a little, "Oh look! She's complaining." there. Hehe. Again, nothing that doesn't pass a moment later.
I was exhausted from the day/week and unexpectedly passed out on the couch early in the evening. I was woken up at about midnight being encouraged to come to bed.
I suggested we relax for a night and experience this (often overlooked) part of sexuality rather than just having sex. We curled up together and watched a couple shows and a movie together....just being together. Kisses on the back and head. Arms wrapped around each other. Just intimacy, no sex. We fell asleep with her curled into me, my left arm under her neck wrapped around her chest - the other resting on her thigh.
She even mentioned I don't cuddle her enough, so hopefully the show of affection was welcomed. We tend to focus on our own needs or project our needs onto another. I want this, let's make them want it too. In this process, we overlook the simple wants the other person might have. In 21 days, She will read back through these entries.....
.....Hey, you. I know it might seem like I sometimes do but I don't mean to ignore your wants. I try to make a conscious effort to do the exact opposite. I'll make you a deal - rather than looking out for ourselves, how about you look out for me and I'll look out for you? Not in that order, not me first than you. At the same time. Rather than struggling to get what we want, let's struggle to give the other what they want. It will probably still end up as a tug of war, but it's definitely a better fight to fight ;). Love you.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Cuddling. I know, boring right? Surprisingly, this was my recommendation for the night. No sex, just being together, holding each other, falling asleep in each others arms.
We'd been fighting earlier. Everyone does. She annoys me from time to time. I annoy her far more often ;). Nothing serious, just a little "God, you're an ass." here and a little, "Oh look! She's complaining." there. Hehe. Again, nothing that doesn't pass a moment later.
I was exhausted from the day/week and unexpectedly passed out on the couch early in the evening. I was woken up at about midnight being encouraged to come to bed.
I suggested we relax for a night and experience this (often overlooked) part of sexuality rather than just having sex. We curled up together and watched a couple shows and a movie together....just being together. Kisses on the back and head. Arms wrapped around each other. Just intimacy, no sex. We fell asleep with her curled into me, my left arm under her neck wrapped around her chest - the other resting on her thigh.
She even mentioned I don't cuddle her enough, so hopefully the show of affection was welcomed. We tend to focus on our own needs or project our needs onto another. I want this, let's make them want it too. In this process, we overlook the simple wants the other person might have. In 21 days, She will read back through these entries.....
.....Hey, you. I know it might seem like I sometimes do but I don't mean to ignore your wants. I try to make a conscious effort to do the exact opposite. I'll make you a deal - rather than looking out for ourselves, how about you look out for me and I'll look out for you? Not in that order, not me first than you. At the same time. Rather than struggling to get what we want, let's struggle to give the other what they want. It will probably still end up as a tug of war, but it's definitely a better fight to fight ;). Love you.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Day 8 - Mirror, Mirror
A little secret about Her - not a secret to anyone that knows her but possibly a secret to you. She is an extremely beautiful girl. No one would ever try to debate that. Maybe you'd think sexual lulls only happen to unattractive people and are caused by a lack of attraction. Not the case - it happens to attractive people, too!
Now, not only is she very beautiful, she's also aware of it. Not in a conceited manner - she doesn't brag about how attractive she is or have that chip on her shoulder that good looking girls have been known to have - but she knows.
She also has the ability that many girls NEED to develop....she can appreciate her own good looks. She's still a girl and will still have those "I don't feel pretty" days, but when she looks and feels good, she's able to appreciate that confidence and you can see it shine in her personality.
Last night, we took that another step further and let her (and I, of course) appreciate how hot and sexual she can look during sex. She'll be the first say she's not an overly sexual person. Part of the purpose of this challenge is to help her work on that. But I doubt she ever feels "sexy" unless she's made to and she rarely acts in a sexual manner. Loving, yes. Sexual, no. I hope last night helped her tap into that a little.
We pulled our rolling full length mirror beside the bed. I thought, if she can SEE how sexy she is, maybe it will help her FEEL that way too. If she FEELS that way, she might be more open to ACT that way. A lot of mights and maybes, but here's to patience, perseverance and creativity!
We tried to position the mirror and ourselves so that she could see between her legs, or at least be given a "viewers perspective". I spent a good amount of time going down on her. Letting her watch from her own and from the mirrors eyes. It definitely had some effect as she was a little more vocal than she's been recently. I wanted her to have the chance to watch herself repaying the favor. Maybe she'd understand why I like it so much if she could see how sexy she looks while doing it (although, my concept and hers might be different). Maybe she'd learn to like it more? Instead, we started having sex.
We started in our normal positions. I think she was focusing more on how she looked rather than how it felt because she wasn't cumming. This position takes a LOT of effort on my part, so I'd occasionally slow down or rest over her. We both appreciated the extra view but she wanted something particular.....
When watching porn, she always loves the "doggy-style" scenes. It's her favorite position but also very difficult for her due to the placement of her cervix. I can literally put only about 2 inches inside of her in this position or it will hurt. Either way, she wanted to watch herself having sex in this position. Well....this definitely worked. Within a matter of moments, she started to orgasm. I picked up her head and told her, "Watch yourself, I want you to see how sexy you are when you cum." and other dirty talk that she loves. That also worked. The orgasms kept coming and showed no signs of stopping.
I'm glad she can recognize and appreciate her attractiveness. I only wish she could also realize how sexy she is, be able to appreciate and display that part of her as well. Hopefully this helped.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Now, not only is she very beautiful, she's also aware of it. Not in a conceited manner - she doesn't brag about how attractive she is or have that chip on her shoulder that good looking girls have been known to have - but she knows.
She also has the ability that many girls NEED to develop....she can appreciate her own good looks. She's still a girl and will still have those "I don't feel pretty" days, but when she looks and feels good, she's able to appreciate that confidence and you can see it shine in her personality.
Last night, we took that another step further and let her (and I, of course) appreciate how hot and sexual she can look during sex. She'll be the first say she's not an overly sexual person. Part of the purpose of this challenge is to help her work on that. But I doubt she ever feels "sexy" unless she's made to and she rarely acts in a sexual manner. Loving, yes. Sexual, no. I hope last night helped her tap into that a little.
We pulled our rolling full length mirror beside the bed. I thought, if she can SEE how sexy she is, maybe it will help her FEEL that way too. If she FEELS that way, she might be more open to ACT that way. A lot of mights and maybes, but here's to patience, perseverance and creativity!
We tried to position the mirror and ourselves so that she could see between her legs, or at least be given a "viewers perspective". I spent a good amount of time going down on her. Letting her watch from her own and from the mirrors eyes. It definitely had some effect as she was a little more vocal than she's been recently. I wanted her to have the chance to watch herself repaying the favor. Maybe she'd understand why I like it so much if she could see how sexy she looks while doing it (although, my concept and hers might be different). Maybe she'd learn to like it more? Instead, we started having sex.
We started in our normal positions. I think she was focusing more on how she looked rather than how it felt because she wasn't cumming. This position takes a LOT of effort on my part, so I'd occasionally slow down or rest over her. We both appreciated the extra view but she wanted something particular.....
When watching porn, she always loves the "doggy-style" scenes. It's her favorite position but also very difficult for her due to the placement of her cervix. I can literally put only about 2 inches inside of her in this position or it will hurt. Either way, she wanted to watch herself having sex in this position. Well....this definitely worked. Within a matter of moments, she started to orgasm. I picked up her head and told her, "Watch yourself, I want you to see how sexy you are when you cum." and other dirty talk that she loves. That also worked. The orgasms kept coming and showed no signs of stopping.
I'm glad she can recognize and appreciate her attractiveness. I only wish she could also realize how sexy she is, be able to appreciate and display that part of her as well. Hopefully this helped.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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Monday, November 8, 2010
Day 7 - Aphrodisiacs
Last night, again, was a flop - but at least the sex was good! The plan was to pick up some male and female aphrodisiacs or "enhancers". Truthfully, this stuff scares the crap out of me - but it was on the list!
We went to a local sex shop and bought a spanish fly drink and a hormone cream for Her. I picked up some Cialis/Viagra knockoff looking thing. It supposedly would make me hard, last longer and keep me hard even after finishing.
Well, her purchases didn't seem to do a thing at all. All she had to say was the cream felt tingly - but not necessarily in a good way. I took one of my pills and wanted to put it to the test. I sat in the living room and watched a completely unsexy movie to see if it would get hard on it's own. It didn't. On the other hand, when I walked in the bedroom to Her massaging her cream onto her clit, I got hard almost instantly. I wanted to put it to a further test - I left again and wanted to see if it would stay hard without any encouragement. Nope....it went back down as normal.
So much for that.
Being a relatively young guy, I don't actually need these products. He gets hard and stays hard. Sex usually lasts a good amount of time (sometimes a little too long for her and she'll spend the next couple days saying I broke her vagina). But usually when I'm done - I'm done. These suppliments said I'd get hard again right away. That had it's appeal....to me, anyway, not her!
As I said, her purchases did nothing. In fact, she seemed less in the mood than normal. Some nights, she's all about it. Most nights, no. I've noticed a decline in her sex drive and we've talked about it. She's even tried switching her birth control to see if it would have an effect. Honestly, I think it's just part of a long term relationship. After a while, you don't want it everyday. I do......but I'm odd.
The sex was normal. Normal positions. Normal time. Not much of a change. When I finished, I tried to keep going but "he" felt highly uncomfortable trying to do that. Later on I might have been ready for another round but by that time it was far too late and She was already asleep.
Supplements....no go for me.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
We went to a local sex shop and bought a spanish fly drink and a hormone cream for Her. I picked up some Cialis/Viagra knockoff looking thing. It supposedly would make me hard, last longer and keep me hard even after finishing.
Well, her purchases didn't seem to do a thing at all. All she had to say was the cream felt tingly - but not necessarily in a good way. I took one of my pills and wanted to put it to the test. I sat in the living room and watched a completely unsexy movie to see if it would get hard on it's own. It didn't. On the other hand, when I walked in the bedroom to Her massaging her cream onto her clit, I got hard almost instantly. I wanted to put it to a further test - I left again and wanted to see if it would stay hard without any encouragement. Nope....it went back down as normal.
So much for that.
Being a relatively young guy, I don't actually need these products. He gets hard and stays hard. Sex usually lasts a good amount of time (sometimes a little too long for her and she'll spend the next couple days saying I broke her vagina). But usually when I'm done - I'm done. These suppliments said I'd get hard again right away. That had it's appeal....to me, anyway, not her!
As I said, her purchases did nothing. In fact, she seemed less in the mood than normal. Some nights, she's all about it. Most nights, no. I've noticed a decline in her sex drive and we've talked about it. She's even tried switching her birth control to see if it would have an effect. Honestly, I think it's just part of a long term relationship. After a while, you don't want it everyday. I do......but I'm odd.
The sex was normal. Normal positions. Normal time. Not much of a change. When I finished, I tried to keep going but "he" felt highly uncomfortable trying to do that. Later on I might have been ready for another round but by that time it was far too late and She was already asleep.
Supplements....no go for me.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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Sunday, November 7, 2010
Day 6 - Wake up to....
Last night was our first failure. The plan was She would go home before me, crawl into bed, fall asleep and let me come home and wake her up "inappropriately". This failed in every way possible!
I joined friends for drinks while She went home and went to sleep. At about 2am, I came home and crawled into bed beside her. I began rubbing her gently, licking my hand and helping her get wet. At about the time I began licking her, the front door opened and our roommate with about 6 of his friends arrived. He works nights, which usually allows us privacy to do what we want and as loud as we want to.
I wasn't about to let a crowd of people listen to me having sex with my wife so I laid down. Then the loud music came on. I'd normally be pretty pissed about this but didn't complain. It was loud enough that no one would be able to hear a thing. I went back to what I was doing.
She was still asleep, for the most part, but now very wet. Lying on her stomach, I crawled over her and put my dick between her legs, rubbing up and down her vagina, getting it wet. When it was, I started to slowly put it inside her. At this point, she started to wake up and even though she was aware this was going to happen, she wasn't impressed. Between the normal pain of me first entering her, the loud music and talking outside and the fact that she's not in the best of moods when she first wakes up - well, she wasn't having it. I'm sure she was also still sensitive, if not soar from the night before.
At first it was just irritated grunts. That progressed to "stop". If a girl says stop, I stop....unless there's an agreement not to.
Sometime soon, we'll reverse this so that she wakes me up in a similar way. But as for her being woken up to sex, we can check that one off as a no.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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I joined friends for drinks while She went home and went to sleep. At about 2am, I came home and crawled into bed beside her. I began rubbing her gently, licking my hand and helping her get wet. At about the time I began licking her, the front door opened and our roommate with about 6 of his friends arrived. He works nights, which usually allows us privacy to do what we want and as loud as we want to.
I wasn't about to let a crowd of people listen to me having sex with my wife so I laid down. Then the loud music came on. I'd normally be pretty pissed about this but didn't complain. It was loud enough that no one would be able to hear a thing. I went back to what I was doing.
She was still asleep, for the most part, but now very wet. Lying on her stomach, I crawled over her and put my dick between her legs, rubbing up and down her vagina, getting it wet. When it was, I started to slowly put it inside her. At this point, she started to wake up and even though she was aware this was going to happen, she wasn't impressed. Between the normal pain of me first entering her, the loud music and talking outside and the fact that she's not in the best of moods when she first wakes up - well, she wasn't having it. I'm sure she was also still sensitive, if not soar from the night before.
At first it was just irritated grunts. That progressed to "stop". If a girl says stop, I stop....unless there's an agreement not to.
Sometime soon, we'll reverse this so that she wakes me up in a similar way. But as for her being woken up to sex, we can check that one off as a no.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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Saturday, November 6, 2010
Day 5 - I don't know, it wasn't on the list!
To be completely honest, I'm not 100% sure what happened last night. We had planned the go to obvious course from mouths only to hands only. I made mention to Her as I leaned over and began rubbing Her that I could do that for days and she'd never be able to cum.
Then, I don't know what came over me. We were talking idly, I can't even remember what about, when out of nowhere I grabbed her by her hips, threw her on knees, licked her just enough to get her wet and then shoved myself inside her. She must have said something - I don't know!
I say shoved because it wasn't gentle and I will use the word "fucked" because that's what I did. Even when I'm gentle to start, it still hurts her. She's very small down there and it takes a little while to "relax". Physically, we aren't very compatible. She's a smaller girl - I'm a "bigger" guy. So, we always take it slow to start. Not last night.
The rest is, honestly, a bit of a blur. I asked her if it hurt - she didn't answer. I fucked her harder and asked again. I got a whimper of a reply....."yes". I asked her if she wanted me to stop....."no". I asked her if she wanted it to hurt....."yes". I asked her if she liked it....."yes". Whether she said that because she thought it was what I wanted to hear or because she felt she was supposed to or she meant what she said, I’m not sure.
I was just abusive, for lack of a better word. I know it hurt her - I put that thought out of my mind and just fucked her. I pulled her hair. I smacked her ass. I turned her over and roughly grabbed her tits and pulled at her nipples. I choked her. She said something to me and I smacked her. Not hard enough with the intention to hurt - just hard enough to say "shut up". But I've been told I don't know my own strength and very well might have hurt her.
I talked dirty to her the entire time. I called her names. I was pretty degrading. She seemed to be in a constant state of pleasure, pain and fear.
When she came, I stopped. I'm pretty sure she was a little traumatized. I think she said something to that effect. Even this morning, she seemed....different. She seemed quiet. We took a break – I held her and gave her kisses on her face. I let her take a second to relax. She finally realizes and says out-loud, “You didn’t cum!”. I guess I had done something right because without any prompting (or did I ask?), she sat between my legs and started rubbing me with her hands and tits until I finished.
We haven’t had sex like we did last night. Not to that extent. She always enjoys a hand around her neck but last night was pure animal in every aspect. Without reading her blog (it’s against the rules!), when we have a second, I’ll have to sit down and talk about how it made her feel. What she enjoyed about it….if she enjoyed it! You’ll know before me. We'll probably revisit encounters similar to this, but maybe more planned. I might have caught her (and myself) off-guard with this one.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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Friday, November 5, 2010
Day 4 - Mouths Only
She still wasn't feeling 100%, so we made last night relaxed.
Going down on each other is considered foreplay to most people. Then again, I'm sure there are men and women reading who might not be a fan of either. Personally, I love going down on my wife. It's as much of a turn on for me as I would hope (!) it is for her.
The first idea on our list was only using our mouths the entire time. No hands. No genitals. Just mouths. So, we did. Lying in bed beside each other, She leans over and asks, "Remember 'making out'?". It was more of a request than a question. We kissed for an hour. My leg between hers, grinding against each other as we kissed. She moved away from my lips and kissed every part of my body on the way down.
She spent a good amount of time going down on me and actually seemed "dedicated" to the task. She was giving it all she's worth! That might sound weird but there's nothing worse than a blowjob that just seems like a preliminary to what usually follows or her just getting what she wants.
We've had the conversation, in a very careful-not-to-hurt-feelings manner, that she does tend to be a very selfish lover. Without question or reason, I'm happy to spend a night between her thighs. If mention is given for her to do the same, it's usually met with a look. That hesitation is a huge mood killer. To the women reading, if I can offer one piece of advice - the next chance you get, without him asking, take your man's dick out of his pants and give him the best blowjob of his life. No reason. No wanting anything in return. It can and will make all the difference in your relationship. In all truth, it doesn't even have to be GOOD, it just has to happen randomly and out of the blue. You'll be surprised how quickly flowers and nice little things start showing up. It will not go unappreciated.
Anyway, after a while, I laid her down and began to repay the favor. Starting at her lips, kissing her cheeks, kissing and biting at her neck, her nipples, her stomach....everywhere. I very lightly licked and blew on the inside of her thighs and her vagina until I was happy that she was shuddering enough and started licking and sucking lightly on her clit.
A while later a bathroom break was needed. When she got back, we brought out the toys. Again, I'd be happy to spend the entire night just licking her, but she would *never* cum from that. She's vibrator dependent - but I honestly have no problem with that. I just found out last night that a girlfriend of mine would consider it an offense to her boyfriend to use a vibrator while they have sex. Like it's saying to him "you're not enough.". I don't consider it like that at all. And I love to watch the multiple orgasms that that little (it's pretty damn big, actually) vibrator and I give her together.
She laid on her back and started using her toys. She asked me to kneel beside her, leaned over and took me back in her mouth while she brought herself to her first orgasm. But again, the first one just left her wanting more. I knelt between her legs and we started having sex. We had teased and pleasured each other with our mouths for hours at this point. We had accomplished what we set out to do. We were entitled....don't judge!
Although, she was happy to finish the night the way it started. When I told her I was about to finish, she sat up and finished me with her mouth.
If I, Her or you can take anything away from this it's that oral should be something you want to give....or at least appear to! It's not about you, it's about the person you're giving it to. I guess I'm lucky to enjoy giving. Initiating that can be the sexiest start to having sex. It doesn't always have to be the mans job to get things started. Girls, nothing says "I want you....now." better than just taking what you want. Initiate sometimes. Make your man feel wanted and desired. While girls can feel loved through a simple hug or kiss or being told, men sometimes need that show of sexual desire. A little carnality (is that a real word? spell-check isn't giving me crap!) can go a long way.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Going down on each other is considered foreplay to most people. Then again, I'm sure there are men and women reading who might not be a fan of either. Personally, I love going down on my wife. It's as much of a turn on for me as I would hope (!) it is for her.
The first idea on our list was only using our mouths the entire time. No hands. No genitals. Just mouths. So, we did. Lying in bed beside each other, She leans over and asks, "Remember 'making out'?". It was more of a request than a question. We kissed for an hour. My leg between hers, grinding against each other as we kissed. She moved away from my lips and kissed every part of my body on the way down.
She spent a good amount of time going down on me and actually seemed "dedicated" to the task. She was giving it all she's worth! That might sound weird but there's nothing worse than a blowjob that just seems like a preliminary to what usually follows or her just getting what she wants.
We've had the conversation, in a very careful-not-to-hurt-feelings manner, that she does tend to be a very selfish lover. Without question or reason, I'm happy to spend a night between her thighs. If mention is given for her to do the same, it's usually met with a look. That hesitation is a huge mood killer. To the women reading, if I can offer one piece of advice - the next chance you get, without him asking, take your man's dick out of his pants and give him the best blowjob of his life. No reason. No wanting anything in return. It can and will make all the difference in your relationship. In all truth, it doesn't even have to be GOOD, it just has to happen randomly and out of the blue. You'll be surprised how quickly flowers and nice little things start showing up. It will not go unappreciated.
Anyway, after a while, I laid her down and began to repay the favor. Starting at her lips, kissing her cheeks, kissing and biting at her neck, her nipples, her stomach....everywhere. I very lightly licked and blew on the inside of her thighs and her vagina until I was happy that she was shuddering enough and started licking and sucking lightly on her clit.
A while later a bathroom break was needed. When she got back, we brought out the toys. Again, I'd be happy to spend the entire night just licking her, but she would *never* cum from that. She's vibrator dependent - but I honestly have no problem with that. I just found out last night that a girlfriend of mine would consider it an offense to her boyfriend to use a vibrator while they have sex. Like it's saying to him "you're not enough.". I don't consider it like that at all. And I love to watch the multiple orgasms that that little (it's pretty damn big, actually) vibrator and I give her together.
She laid on her back and started using her toys. She asked me to kneel beside her, leaned over and took me back in her mouth while she brought herself to her first orgasm. But again, the first one just left her wanting more. I knelt between her legs and we started having sex. We had teased and pleasured each other with our mouths for hours at this point. We had accomplished what we set out to do. We were entitled....don't judge!
Although, she was happy to finish the night the way it started. When I told her I was about to finish, she sat up and finished me with her mouth.
If I, Her or you can take anything away from this it's that oral should be something you want to give....or at least appear to! It's not about you, it's about the person you're giving it to. I guess I'm lucky to enjoy giving. Initiating that can be the sexiest start to having sex. It doesn't always have to be the mans job to get things started. Girls, nothing says "I want you....now." better than just taking what you want. Initiate sometimes. Make your man feel wanted and desired. While girls can feel loved through a simple hug or kiss or being told, men sometimes need that show of sexual desire. A little carnality (is that a real word? spell-check isn't giving me crap!) can go a long way.
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Day 3 - Unplanned Rest
She woke up this morning with a pretty serious infection of some kind. Unrelated, but still made sex impossible for the night.
Have the guys out there also noticed that girls are out of commission more than they are "functional"? It's those month long female problems that are the real killer!
I would have liked for this to be 30 days straight, but in the female world, that could never happen....
Be sure to share this blog on your blogger/facebook/whatever. It would be interesting to see how many other couples are experiencing the same thing and if something like this would help them (as it will hopefully help us).
Check back everyday. More tomorrow!
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Have the guys out there also noticed that girls are out of commission more than they are "functional"? It's those month long female problems that are the real killer!
I would have liked for this to be 30 days straight, but in the female world, that could never happen....
Be sure to share this blog on your blogger/facebook/whatever. It would be interesting to see how many other couples are experiencing the same thing and if something like this would help them (as it will hopefully help us).
Check back everyday. More tomorrow!
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Day 2 - Together, By Ourselves
I've heard some stories of some women actually having a problem when their man masturbates. I remember a scene in American Beauty when Kevin Spacey is masturbating beside his wife in bed and she goes off on him about it. Some women find it disgusting....I hope, in this day and age, you'd be hard-pressed to find a woman like that anymore.
Last night we decided to check off "Mutual Masturbation". This isn't something new to us. Sex can be very strenuous sometimes - especially if you're doing it right! Sometimes a guy just needs a little time to himself. I'm sure girls feel the same way. But it can be extremely sexy when your partner joins you for your "private time".
We laid down and put on an adult movie to watch together. She can finish very quickly when doing herself, especially with the help of her toys. I....well, I take a little longer. It's usually the other way around, right? Anyway, I got a head start and we curled up together, watching a movie in some other language we didn't understand with horrible voice over-dubs. We found a scene that worked for Her, she pulled out her vibrator and started as well. Me, with one hand on myself and one wrapped around her massaging her breasts - Her, with both of her hands hard at work ;)
It only took her a couple minutes to orgasm. I still hadn't finished - so she asked me if I'd like to finish another way and got on her back and spread her legs.
Cheater. But who am I to say no?
I still find it extremely sexy to watch Her play with herself. The "putting on the show". That hint that she is so turned on by you that she can't even wait. What man wouldn't be turned on by that?
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Last night we decided to check off "Mutual Masturbation". This isn't something new to us. Sex can be very strenuous sometimes - especially if you're doing it right! Sometimes a guy just needs a little time to himself. I'm sure girls feel the same way. But it can be extremely sexy when your partner joins you for your "private time".
We laid down and put on an adult movie to watch together. She can finish very quickly when doing herself, especially with the help of her toys. I....well, I take a little longer. It's usually the other way around, right? Anyway, I got a head start and we curled up together, watching a movie in some other language we didn't understand with horrible voice over-dubs. We found a scene that worked for Her, she pulled out her vibrator and started as well. Me, with one hand on myself and one wrapped around her massaging her breasts - Her, with both of her hands hard at work ;)
It only took her a couple minutes to orgasm. I still hadn't finished - so she asked me if I'd like to finish another way and got on her back and spread her legs.
Cheater. But who am I to say no?
I still find it extremely sexy to watch Her play with herself. The "putting on the show". That hint that she is so turned on by you that she can't even wait. What man wouldn't be turned on by that?
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Day 1 - The Grooming
It's begun! We looked down our list last night and picked what seemed to be the best place to start.
While searching the internet for fantasies/fetishes/ways to "spice things up", I came across a yahoo answers board where someone had suggested that "grooming" each other can be extremely sexy and great foreplay. Bathing each other, shaving/trimming each other, drying each other off, etc. We'd have to do this anyway, why not do it together and for each other?
She took to the task of shaving her legs, otherwise we would have been there for hours with me going slowly, trying not to cut her. While she was doing that, I was using the scissors to make sure I also looked trim and "kept".
We got in the shower together (which was already running out of hot water at this point!). She started by shaving me. Again, going very slowly, scared she might cut it off and our 30 day challenge would be over before it began. It wasn't really erotic by any means. A woman had a razor to my balls. I helped and showed her how to do it.
Then we switched. She lathered herself up and I began shaving her. Again, I wouldn't have considered it sexy as I spent most of the time worrying I was going to cut her. It was more of a learning experience than anything. I have never seen a vagina pulled in so many different directions. The amount of work that girls go through shaving themselves....unbelievable. Guys hair usually goes all in one direction - theirs goes in about 30.
By the time we were both clean, the hot water was completely gone. We ran to the bedroom, hopped under the covers and spent a couple minutes warming up.
Sex last night was pretty normal, for the most part. It was the change in "warm-up" we had wanted to try. I know I have a bad habit of foregoing foreplay altogether for the most part. After a long day, you're tired, you don't have energy for much - but you have this beautiful woman laying beside you. Spending a little time together making each other "presentable" might have been a nice addition for Her.
After some kissing, me going down on her for a while, kissing some more, going back down, her (reluctantly, she's not a huge fan) going down on me - we settled into the position that works best for both of us with her on her back and me on my knees. She was already extremely turned on by this point and came very quickly. 2 or 3 more of hers later, we shared one together and slowly fell asleep watching a movie together.
Sexy or not, I'm sure she appreciated a little build up and doing something together beforehand rather than "just having sex".
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
While searching the internet for fantasies/fetishes/ways to "spice things up", I came across a yahoo answers board where someone had suggested that "grooming" each other can be extremely sexy and great foreplay. Bathing each other, shaving/trimming each other, drying each other off, etc. We'd have to do this anyway, why not do it together and for each other?
She took to the task of shaving her legs, otherwise we would have been there for hours with me going slowly, trying not to cut her. While she was doing that, I was using the scissors to make sure I also looked trim and "kept".
We got in the shower together (which was already running out of hot water at this point!). She started by shaving me. Again, going very slowly, scared she might cut it off and our 30 day challenge would be over before it began. It wasn't really erotic by any means. A woman had a razor to my balls. I helped and showed her how to do it.
Then we switched. She lathered herself up and I began shaving her. Again, I wouldn't have considered it sexy as I spent most of the time worrying I was going to cut her. It was more of a learning experience than anything. I have never seen a vagina pulled in so many different directions. The amount of work that girls go through shaving themselves....unbelievable. Guys hair usually goes all in one direction - theirs goes in about 30.
By the time we were both clean, the hot water was completely gone. We ran to the bedroom, hopped under the covers and spent a couple minutes warming up.
Sex last night was pretty normal, for the most part. It was the change in "warm-up" we had wanted to try. I know I have a bad habit of foregoing foreplay altogether for the most part. After a long day, you're tired, you don't have energy for much - but you have this beautiful woman laying beside you. Spending a little time together making each other "presentable" might have been a nice addition for Her.
After some kissing, me going down on her for a while, kissing some more, going back down, her (reluctantly, she's not a huge fan) going down on me - we settled into the position that works best for both of us with her on her back and me on my knees. She was already extremely turned on by this point and came very quickly. 2 or 3 more of hers later, we shared one together and slowly fell asleep watching a movie together.
Sexy or not, I'm sure she appreciated a little build up and doing something together beforehand rather than "just having sex".
Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
Spread the word: REDDIT- DIGG - FACEBOOK
Monday, November 1, 2010
....and it begins
I'm "Him". 29 years old. Married to a beautiful, loving wife. We have been together for almost two years now. We have a great relationship, but like most couples we've both found things are getting a little "boring" in the bedroom. The sex is great but we felt we needed to spice things up.
After much talk and research....and more talk....and more talk, we came up with The 30 for 30 Challenge. We researched "fun things to try in the bedroom". We talked about each others fantasies. We wrote down things we haven't tried before. We wrote down things we have tried and liked. We wrote down things we're both a little nervous to try .... but you only live once!
30 days in November - 30 days of something different in (or out) of the bedroom.
You'll get a post from both of us every day for 30 days. What we tried - what we enjoyed about it - what we didn't enjoy about it. This is my blog - "His" blog. You can read "Hers" here.....
The 30 for 30 Challenge (Hers)
Part of the deal is we're not allowed to read each others blogs during the challenge. Hopefully that will keep it honest!
Now, keep in mind, this is for us. Maybe we'll discover some new things we love. At the very least will be able to look back and say "I can't believe we did that."! But, if we can help other couples experiencing the same "lull", that's a huge added bonus.
So, today is November 1st. Day 1. Talk to you tomorrow.
After much talk and research....and more talk....and more talk, we came up with The 30 for 30 Challenge. We researched "fun things to try in the bedroom". We talked about each others fantasies. We wrote down things we haven't tried before. We wrote down things we have tried and liked. We wrote down things we're both a little nervous to try .... but you only live once!
30 days in November - 30 days of something different in (or out) of the bedroom.
You'll get a post from both of us every day for 30 days. What we tried - what we enjoyed about it - what we didn't enjoy about it. This is my blog - "His" blog. You can read "Hers" here.....
The 30 for 30 Challenge (Hers)
Part of the deal is we're not allowed to read each others blogs during the challenge. Hopefully that will keep it honest!
Now, keep in mind, this is for us. Maybe we'll discover some new things we love. At the very least will be able to look back and say "I can't believe we did that."! But, if we can help other couples experiencing the same "lull", that's a huge added bonus.
So, today is November 1st. Day 1. Talk to you tomorrow.
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