Day 9 - Intimacy

Our plans for last night fell through.  We were both just too busy.  At least it gave us an opportunity to engage in another aspect of sexuality rarely emphasized.  A part that is usually essential to the female of the relationship and is sometimes viewed as a chore to the men. 

Cuddling.  I know, boring right?  Surprisingly, this was my recommendation for the night.  No sex, just being together, holding each other, falling asleep in each others arms.

We'd been fighting earlier.  Everyone does.  She annoys me from time to time.  I annoy her far more often ;).  Nothing serious, just a little "God, you're an ass." here and a little, "Oh look! She's complaining." there.  Hehe.  Again, nothing that doesn't pass a moment later.

I was exhausted from the day/week and unexpectedly passed out on the couch early in the evening.  I was woken up at about midnight being encouraged to come to bed.

I suggested we relax for a night and experience this (often overlooked) part of sexuality rather than just having sex.  We curled up together and watched a couple shows and a movie together....just being together.  Kisses on the back and head.  Arms wrapped around each other.  Just intimacy, no sex.  We fell asleep with her curled into me, my left arm under her neck wrapped around her chest - the other resting on her thigh. 

She even mentioned I don't cuddle her enough, so hopefully the show of affection was welcomed.  We tend to focus on our own needs or project our needs onto another.  I want this, let's make them want it too.  In this process, we overlook the simple wants the other person might have.  In 21 days, She will read back through these entries.....

.....Hey, you.  I know it might seem like I sometimes do but I don't mean to ignore your wants.  I try to make a conscious effort to do the exact opposite.  I'll make you a deal - rather than looking out for ourselves, how about you look out for me and I'll look out for you?  Not in that order, not me first than you.  At the same time.  Rather than struggling to get what we want, let's struggle to give the other what they want.  It will probably still end up as a tug of war, but it's definitely a better fight to fight ;).  Love you.

Her Thoughts: http://30for30hers.blogspot.com
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